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As my new cousin came into the world yesterday, it got me thinking of tension with in laws or just relatives in general at the hospital. What is your opinion on the situation? Did you want quite and no one around you? Did relatives disagree causing you stress? Did you enjoy having a big bunch of loving family around? Did you feel in control or out of control?
I was talking to them on the phone yesterday morning and giving my advise. If you don't feel comfortable and your hurting throw who ever you want out! That's what I did. It what ever makes it easier for you and stand up for your self.
The first delivery I had everyone walked all over me and I felt out of control. The second was a different story, my needs came first and I spoke up. A long story so I'm working on a post for it. Going today to see the proud family and new baby, after everyone had some rest. Since, I'm not in the immediate family, I'm giving them some time before I go to welcome the baby and congratulate the family.
Thursday, August 12, 2010
Delivery Questions
at 10:55 AM
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8 comments:
We were in a slightly different situation since Pie is adopted. I was in the delivery room and Husband in the waiting room. My parents came to the hospital once each of the few days we were there and everyone else waited until we got home. We were very clear about teh limited contact because in our state the birth parents have 10 days to change their minds, no questions asked. So we wanted to limit the damage in case that happened.
I'm a firm believer in whatever the momma to be wants is what should happen. Usually you can tell the nurse to make whoever you want leave and they will do it. That way the family doesn't think you are making them leave, it's just hospital policy ;)
The only person I want in the room is my husband and I am even ready at times to throw him out!
Our hospital allowed only two people of the mother's choosing in the delivery room. If your name wasn't on the list, you didn't get in! The policy was put in place to avoid situations like you're describing.
depends if it was a vaginal or c-section. I'd call to see if she was up for visitors. I personally was bored out of my mind after the 1st day and wondered what the ....no one cares about me. I barely had 10 visitors and a home coming with a clean house and grocerys and meals delivered for the 1st week. when Cranky pants was born I think I had 3 visitors and nothing else. I was TICkED. It was like he didn't matter. In fact now I'm mad again! I think it depends on the Mom day by day
Luckily no one wanted to come and see me have the baby but I surely didn't want visitors after but got them literally like an hour after I had the baby.
I was so tired and then trying to nurse for the first time and they (in-laws) were all standing around, it was so awkward. Never again! It's going to be different when my second baby arrives.
My situation with my first was the same as yours - I felt bullied and out of control, and let people push their way in if they wanted (family). My in-laws came in while I was in the most painful part of labor (their kids, too! ugh) but went to wait after they saw I was in pain and not able to talk to them. Thankfully. But then they interrupted the first nursing wanting to hold the baby and talk, etc. Stayed too long.
Now I'm going to say no one comes to the hospital unless they're on a list, and certain other people can visit after I am back home. It's better to state the rules and follow them first than to feel bitter later! lol
My husband's family would come in every once in a while when I was in labor and stand at the end of the bed and stare at me. No one knew what to say to me because I was writhing in pain! I did kick my sister and sister in law out toward the end because they were laughing at something on tv and I wanted to kill them for laughing when I was sure I was about to die! Ha!
My in-laws make my heart rate go up even when I'm not pregnant! I think the laboring woman gets to be in complete control.
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