Life is like a sandcastle something beautiful here for awhile & then gone, but the impression it makes on others can last forever.

Saturday, March 9, 2013

Blind Eye To Bullies Discouraged by First Adult

My son was punched several times & raised his hand telling the coach-- coach said he didn't want to hear no tattling. He gets back to classroom and tells teacher--the little boy gets in trouble. 

Husband's solution punch back-- son says dad that's not right. I told him to yell as loud as he can STOP!-- says he will get in trouble and have to sit on the wall. I told him shouldn't get in trouble if he stopping someone from hurting him. I told him I was proud of him for telling the teacher. If one adult will not listen tell another.

Maybe I don't want to hear the coaches side and turn a blind eye to him like he did my son. If I do have a conference I wonder if then will the coach single him out. You know you never know-- For the moment I will observe & taking note of this. I will mention it to his regular teacher. No one wants their child to tell them they been hit but, the way my son handled it was good.

Although, I think this is just the case of rough & rowdy boy, not bullying. In Bully situations, wonder how many kids was discouraged from the first adult they tried to tell. Something to think about.


Anonymous said...

Lemme say one thing that your son and you need to hear from a former public school teacher. It is the teacher and the coaches job to listen and intervene on his behalf. Coach needs to be in a conference asap. Getting punched is not whining it is assault. Every district has a no bullying policy and no child should be the victim of assault period. Every teacher signs a contract that includes clauses such as protecting the kids in their care and reporting instances to the appropriate group.
The coach is doing the boys will be boys routine and needs to get back on the program of doing his job. Good luck and tell your son to keep his head up.

VickieC said...

my son was beaten on the playground when he was 7 an their were 3 teachers sitting on a bench an not watching,when he came home I saw he had red dirt all over his shirt,this boy who had been held back twice an was much bigger than the others pushed his face in the dirt an rubbed it in,,apparently they didnt see his little face covered in dirt either,,sooooo,I marched myself up there an pulled his teacher out of class an questioned her,an ask her how she would feel if it had happened to one of her sons,,she said she wouldnt an I told her then that IF something like this ever happened again I would go to not only the principal but the superintenant,,they are out there to watch them not sit an chat ,,,gosh I was so mad I felt like jerking her outside an putting her face in the dirt,,,but I restrained myself an it didnt happen again

Anonymous said...

My daughter was bullied and her teacher told her to go sit down and be quiet because no one likes a tattle tale. The child who was bullying my child was much bigger than her. I went to school called the teacher in the hall she was 5 foot 1 I am 5 foot 7, I wore heels that day so I would be five nine. I stood over the teacher and asked her if she felt uncomfortable having someone bigger and angry standing over her. She double swallowed said yes, I asked her what she planned to do..because I didn't think the principal liked tattletales, she turned red and said I get your point...needless to say that other child wasn't allowed to bully

Robin Quick said...

In elementary school every time my child was bullied he was told not to tattle. So when he got into Jr High & had been getting bullied for a few weeks in PE he was afraid to tell the teachers/coaches. My husband & my brother both told my son to stand up for himself & if the boy punched him again to punch back. So one day at school my son was coming out of PE and the boy walked up behind him yanked him around & sucker punched him in the nose. My son defended himself & they fought. We were called to come pick our son up. Both he & the bully got 3 days alternative school together! I was furious! The Vice Principal said if he had known about the bullying that it would have been stopped. My husband that just so happened to have gone to school with the VP said "You know as well as I do that telling on people only gets you bullied more. You know like you did me when we were kids." The VP's face turned red & he stammered around & said " Well kids will be kids." I let him know that I was furious that my son had to go to Alt school for defending himself! They even made them sit right next to each other at Alt. school! When I complained about that I was told "They have to learn to get along." I told the school that if anything happened to my son I would hold them accountable & what happened to my son was assault & I would press charges if it happened again! Bottom line is, if kids "tattle" they get bullied & if they defend themselves they get in as much trouble as the bully does. So what are our kids suppose to do, stand there & get the crap beat out of them? Its up to us parents to force the school to protect our kids! So if your child is bullied do whatever it takes to make sure the school follows policy and enforces the zero tolerance policy against bullies!

jamie braun said...

i have a 12 year old daughter, and thank god, we havnt had to deal with this situation yet. im hoping if & when it does happen, that the adult listens. ts sad, what happened to your son